Fighting with a logbook

I have an appointment with my new endocrinologist next week. He asked me to bring in two weeks of blood sugar records, insulin doses, and a food diary. I know it doesn't sound like much, but I've been having a really hard time collecting all of this information.

I've been procrastinating terribly on it, and now that my appointment is right around the corner I am starting to panic.

It makes a lot of sense for him to want these records. He can't make any suggestions or recommendations unless he can get a feel for what happens during a typical day for me. I completely understand this. Heck, even I can pick out trends and patterns in my blood sugar management if I were to take the time to log everything. So why has it been so hard to get started?

Part of it is habit, part of it is having tools that easily incorporate into my lifestyle, and part of it is facing some trouble spots in my eating habits.

The habit part is just what it sounds like. I need to make it as much a habit as testing my blood sugar, counting my carbs, and taking my insulin. Once I get started with it, it's not that hard to record the information.

The tools? That part is much harder in my opinion. If the tools are hard to use, or take a lot of time, I'll quickly get frustrated and stop using them. For example, at my last appointment my doctor gave me a full sheet of paper that was split into a bunch of different boxes and categories. There were spots to record four days worth of information, with one box for each hour of each day and categories for blood sugar, carbs, bolus, correction bolus, basal rate, temp rate, insulin pump set change, and a single line for comments.

At first glance, it looks incredibly intimidating. And how exactly am I to carry this paper around with me? Fold it up and stick it in my pocket? I'm not sure how else to do it. It also seems like there's not enough space for comments. Knowing he will be looking at this information, I'm feel like I want to describe why I made the decisions I did. There's not enough space for comments though!

Or maybe I'm over-complicating things, and just providing the information will be of some help even without all of the background.

The last part, facing troubles in my eating habits, is the one that's giving me the most trouble, both in my diabetes management and in my logging.

In trying to do this logging, I'm seeing that I really hate quantifying food. There is something deep down in me that gets really angry about having to measure everything and do a bunch of math before eating. I just want to eat.

I see that I'm really very "sloppy" about my carb counting. I make a wild guess, take some insulin, and work it out later by either taking more insulin to correct a high or eating more to correct a low. It's really a mess! Why on earth would I be happy with that - isn't it more pain than taking the time to measure and accurately carb count? Yes, it absolutely is. But there's something emotional that is getting in the way, and I'm not sure what it is yet.

I'll talk to my doctor about all of this when I see him next week and see what his thoughts are. It's another great example of being open and honest with your healthcare provider. They can't help you unless you let them in!

I hope you all have a great New Year holiday, and here's to great things for 2012!